Friday, 13 January 2012


Every day is exactly the same.
I wake up, shower, shave, eat a bagel, then walk to work, my visor in my pocket and my hammer up my sleeve.
I get to the office. I say hi to Frank (it's a coincidence), who lounges at the front desk looking busy and drinking his coffee.
I climb the stairs. Keeps me fit, keeps me in shape. When you do the kind of work I do you need to stay in shape. If you have to get away from somewhere very fast, it's best that you have a good pair of legs to run on.

I don't need to exercise my arms. They get more than enough work on their own.

I wander through the cubicles. I give Liz a brief nod and a smile. She has had the hots for me since that one night... And then the next few... But I digress. Liz is sexy, that's all you need to know.
I finally get through the farm and get to my office. It's a real beauty. Cherry wood desk, slick black monitor, my own printer (might not sound like much, but there's plenty of people here that would donate their left leg for unimpeded printer access), pencil  holders, a Newton's Cradle. Some framed pictures of dolphins.
Oh, now you're wondering about the dolphins. That's my little joke. To everyone else, I've got some cutesy little animals hanging on my wall. Me, I just like the fact that I can display embellished photographs of documented serial rapists and thrill killers and have absolutely no one notice. It's these little victories that help me along

I work. I read, edit, then file. Read, edit, file. Read, edit, file. So on so forth. For the rest of the day. And you know what? It probably pays more than anything you've ever done. Life is wonderful, isn't it? Tedium leads to progress, progress leads to tedium, and the wheels keep on turning.
I mean this in the greater sense. Lots of smaller wheels stop.

Which leads me to after work. I generally stay until seven. Keeps me busy, keeps  me in good status with the management. Lets me do some planning for my other job. Check email. Read letter. Review maps, schedules, habits, tendencies, weaknesses (though there's generally only one I have to exploit, placed directly between the nose and brow) and strengths. Then I pack up. I take the hammer out of the desk and place it back in my sleeve. I walk down the stairs, give a little nod to Frank (no relation), waltz out the door and slide my visor on.

Which is when the fun REALLY begins.
More on that later.

No comments:

Post a Comment